WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT UPBEAT AT ALL. I HAVE TO VENT MY FEELINGS SO IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BECOME DEPRESSED THEN STOP HERE.
I feel like such a failure. I’ve reached a point to where I no longer can take much more heartache. I have a crappy job and no one ever lets me forget it which makes me feel ten times worse.
Yes, I know I have my Business degree. No, I’m not just sitting back and watching it not being put to use. Yes, I am trying so hard to find another job. No, I’m not being lazy in my job search.
I’m almost 26 years old and not only do I feel like a complete failure in almost everything I do….I am in the process of filing bankruptcy. Ironic, huh? I was a business student….I should have known better, right? Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.
Bankrupt before I’m 30 years old. How messed up is that? Never in a million years did I ever think I would be so financially bad off that I’d have to file bankruptcy. Never. I’ve got so many HUGE bills that i just can’t pay anymore. I’m so delinquent in every single bill I have….credit cards, hospital bills and my student loans. I have looked at every possible option and bankruptcy is the only choice.
I make $6.55 an hour and only work between 15-25 hours a week! I’m lucky to bring home a $300 paycheck every two weeks. I’m ashamed to working at a movie theater. I know I shouldn’t be but I am. This is a freaking high schooler’s after school job! I have my freaking Business degree and this is the best I can do?
I’ve begun to hate my life. I hate who I’ve become. I hate this bitterness. But it won’t go away. All around I see my friends moving up in life…..getting that job they wanted….getting married and having kids….and overall just enjoying life. I don’t get the luxury of doing that.
I absolutely hate my life right now. I’m so miserable. All I do is cry when I’m alone and no one can see me.
I just don’t know how much more of this I can take.
